Heaven December 29, 2009

We made it through Christmas, but it has been a rough couple of weeks. The girls have been fighting sinus infections, and both they and I had a nasty stomach virus the week before Christmas. Roo ended up having to go to the doctor for her sinus infection a couple of weeks ago, and we had an interesting conversation while we were there. Evidently, she spent the time in the waiting room productively, contemplating heaven.

I was mindlessly “watching” whatever cartoon was on the TV in the waiting room when Roo said, “Mama, if you’re a Christian, will there be potties in heaven?”

I repeated the question, unsure whether I understood her question. Then I replied, “Well, I’m not sure, but if we need them I’m sure they will be there.”

She thought about that for a minute, then asked, “Will we have bottoms in heaven?”

I answered, “I’m sure we probably will have them so we can sit down, but I’m not sure we’ll need them for anything else.”

I guess that temporarily took care of her concerns about heaven because she didn’t say anything else, but I’m sure she will come up with more soon! Unfortunately, I’m not an expert on what heaven will be like. I hope I can give a satisfactory answer to her next musings. If not, she’ll call me on it!

Happy Up! December 5, 2009

The Christmas season is upon us! Tonight DH, the girls, and I enjoyed what has become a holiday tradition for us. We “walked through Bethlehem” at a local church. The script is the same almost every year, but PD and Roo keep it fresh for me. Seeing the experience through their eyes makes the effort to go worth it!

When we got home this evening, the girls were exhausted. They didn’t take a nap today (which Roo needed and PD could have used too, since she’s fighting a sinus infection) because they spent the day at the church for Parents’ Day Out. DH and I had a fabulous day taking care of some projects for the family while PD and Roo made Christmas cards and ornaments, practiced Christmas carols, and visited shut-ins delivering the cards and some plants and singing Christmas carols with other children from our church.

Anyway, the girls were exhausted but hungry. PD had a snack of saltine crackers and pretzels but was still hungry. She wanted an applesauce cup, but DH said no. She decided to plead her case. She said, “But Daddy, I haven’t had any fruit today. It would really happy up my body if you would let me have it.” DH said no again. PD went to her room in tears. Roo came into the kitchen and said, “Daddy, you’d better happy her up!” DH looked at me and I repeated PD’s plea to him. He called her into the kitchen and told her to get a spoon. PD’s face lit up. She was smiling a big toothless grin (those top teeth might come in for Christmas!) with tears still rolling down her cheeks!

What a moment! God has blessed me with a wonderful husband and two precious children. I’ve let too much “stuff” get me down lately. I need to turn all of that over to God and “happy up.” I have much to be thankful for!

Waiting November 19, 2009

We’re doing a lot of waiting right now. We’re waiting to see how the financial and job issues are going to work out. We’re waiting to see how DH’s back is going to respond to physical therapy. We’re waiting to see how various family members medical tests are going to turn out.

We’re doing a lot of waiting. I’m finding out I’m not very good at it.

Time Flies November 18, 2009

I can’t believe I haven’t posted since Halloween, and Thanksgiving is a week from tomorrow. I went MIA because I spent the first week and a half of this month trying to get Roo’s Vivaglobin “service” moved from one specialty pharmacy to another. After that, I had to recover from the stress of getting it changed!

Roo will have a blood draw tomorrow to see if her IgG levels are rising like her immunologist wants them to. She has been sick several times since she started the infusions three months ago, so there is some concern that her body is having to use up everything we infuse each week just to maintain her current health status. We, however, want to improve it, so she’s having her overall IgG and IgG subclass 1 levels checked tomorrow to see if we need to increase her Vivaglobin dosage.

Overall, I think Roo is doing well, although she enjoys driving me crazy by making me think she doesn’t know her Cubbies memory verses and that she isn’t learning her pre-K “stuff”. She definitely knows more than she lets on — she just keeps it to herself until certain moments when she chooses to “wow” me!

PD is plugging right along in her first grade studies and is making great progress. She has also finished her Sparks book already and is working on the review! I am so proud of her! She is learning so much and is turning into quite a bookworm (like her mama)! She is looking forward to Thanksgiving break next week. We are going to take the end of the week off. Early in the week, we’re going to set the books aside and spend time on some science experiments and art projects the girls have been begging to do. That will give us all a nice break and will enable me to have them academically employed in the kitchen while I work on some cooking projects for the holiday.

We are still going through trials in various areas right now, but we trust that God is going to see us through this storm. We know He has plans for our family — we just have no idea what they are right now! For now, we pray, trust, and take one day at a time!

Halloween October 31, 2009

We attended a few parties today. We started the day with the Kids’ Harvest Party at Lifeway. The girls got some candy and something to drink, watched some VeggieTales movies, got a VT coloring sheet and a balloon, and came home with a new Gigi: God’s Little Princess DVD. They were excited!

This evening the girls dressed up as “butterfly princesses” complete with bright pink wigs and sparkly black and blue wings. (I’ll have to see if I can figure out how to post pictures!) We went to the fall festival at our church first. The theme was “Mission Space,” and the gym was “lit” with blacklights. There were lots of games, prizes, and candy, of course! On the way home, we stopped at the little church down the street. They were having a harvest festival outside. The girls got to play more games, win more candy and prizes, and use up some of the energy that has been building during the recent downpours!

PD and Roo came home happy but exhausted. Both were in tears by the time we got them to bed. I reset the clocks (I love falling back!) so we won’t get confused about what time to be at church in the morning, and now I’m unwinding so I can go to bed and get some rest. (There was no rest time today, unfortunately. A neighbor and I worked on some minor plumbing issues. Thanks, Tom!)

I’m looking forward to tomorrow – November 1. We get to attend worship services with our church family, and we will start a new tradition – the “Blessing Bowl”!

Drink Dilemma October 22, 2009

Yesterday afternoon, in the interest of providing my family with something different to drink, I prepared a packet of grape Kool-Aid. I was very proud of myself. I even went so far as to tell the girls that we would have cold Kool-Aid when we got home from church. Of course, they wanted to have some with their supper, so I poured each a cup and thought no more about it.

About thirty minutes later, Roo brought her cup to me and said, “This Kool-Aid tastes yucky. You need to put some sugar in it.”

It took me a little bit to process what she was saying. While I was still trying to make sense of it, PD came by. I asked her if she drank her Kool-Aid. She said, “Yes, I was thirsty, but it was disgusting.”

And then I remembered. I had added the packet of Kool-Aid flavoring and two quarts of water, but I had forgotten the cup of sugar! I’m sure her drink probably was disgusting. It was definitely not the product Kool-Aid had intended or my family had expected! Oops!

A few minutes and a cup of sugar later, the problem was resolved.

If all our problems were as easily fixed, we would have it made!

Certainty October 21, 2009

In the past few months, it has become more clear to me than ever that one of the only certainties in life is uncertainty. We have faced a lot of change this year in DH’s job situation, new information about Roo’s health issues, and our financial situation, among other things. It can get overwhelming at times, and honestly, much of what is happening in and to our family is out of my control. Despite all of this, or maybe even because of it, I am still making progress toward becoming fear- and anxiety-free.

I am learning to let go. I have no control over many things in life. I can worry and fret (and make myself sleepless and sick), but that doesn’t really change those situations. Control is an illusion. I have wasted a lot of time anxious about circumstances and situations, as though worry alone would change the outcome. It didn’t, but I did get sick and exhausted! As difficult as the circumstances we’ve been experiencing have been, they have drawn me closer to God, to learning Who He really is and what He is capable of doing. I am learning complete dependence on Him, which is difficult for me. I would like to hold onto the idea that I am in control, but that’s a lie. “My times are in [His] hands…” (Psalm 31:15a). That is true whether I acknowledge it or not. I can’t carry it all anymore. Psalm 68:19 says “…the Lord … daily bears our burdens.” I’ve been trying to carry everything myself, and it hasn’t worked well for me. The hands that created the universe are more than able to carry the things I have spent a lot of time worrying and fretting about in the past. I am learning to give things over to Him as they occur and leave them there, trusting that He is working on my family’s behalf in each and every situation. My faith isn’t perfect, but I am having more peace-filled days than fear-filled ones now.

This week I am reading What in the World is Going On?: 10 Prophetic Clues You Cannot Afford to Ignore by Dr. David Jeremiah. It is amazing how world events are leading us closer and closer to seeing end-times prophecy fulfilled. I used to get fearful when I thought about the things the Bible says will happen in the end times, but I’m not scared now. I am excited because I know God’s Word is true, and everything will happen just as He said. I also know He will be with me no matter what happens and will take care of me according to His perfect plan for me.

There is a lot of peace in really believing and walking in the truth of Hebrews 13:5: “…God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” That is my certainty.

Great News! October 20, 2009

UPDATE: I think a lengthier entry will have to wait. The lack of sleep for the past several nights has caught up with me. I’m going to have to go to bed early tonight so I can recover! I’m planning to write more tomorrow.

I am ready to begin writing/blogging again, and Jeff has gotten my blog updated (with spam filter in place)! What a great place to be! I haven’t written much in the past several months, and a lot has been going on in my life. We have gone through a lot as a family with job, financial, and health concerns, and I am on a personal, inner journey that is changing my life. (I’ll share more about that later.)

It will take me some time to learn how to navigate around my updated, better blog, but I’m sure I’ll learn quickly. I plan to write more later, but for now I’ve got to help the girls finish their lessons and get everyone down for a nap. (Sleep has been in short supply for us the past week.)

Before signing off, I’ll leave you with some food for thought from PD (from Sunday, October 18): “It’s been a hard day. It’s hard when you’re older and have more responsibility than when you’re 5.”

Woo hoo! March 21, 2009

I got word from Jeff today that he’s going to get my blog updated. This should solve my problems with spam comments that mess up my comments/pings and timestamps. I haven’t been on here much lately because I get 25-50 spam comments every day and get tired of messing with them. I’m looking forward to a much-improved, “cleaner” blog soon that will make it lots more fun to come here to write!

Thanks, Jeff!

Tuesday March 10, 2009

What a week! Today I was diagnosed with mono. I’m not tickled with the diagnosis, but it does explain a lot. I’m not as concerned about the fatigue I’ve been experiencing and the swollen lymph nodes now that I know I’ve got mono. It explains a whole lot!

I’m exhausted, so I’m going to try to get ready for bed. I could REALLY use the rest!